This Life Is The Test

Psalms 26:2 2 Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. I use to work at a group home for special needs adults.  Two years I was there, I stayed long enough to  be the oldest staff member out of all the others including the manager.  I loved my ladies.  My home  housed the most individuals compared to the 20 other homes in the area.  One was blind, one had  skitzophrenia, one had the mind of a 3 year old, and they all had extreme disabling cases of depression  and bipolar conditions.  They were the sweetest people in my life who probably showed me the most  unconditional love compared to anyone else in those two years.  At night when I tucked them in bed  sometimes they liked giving me hugs and kisses, and always said, "I love you!" Some days were hard.  Their bodies hurt them.  They couldn't take care of themselves.  They rarely felt good mentally and physically.  They couldn't understand or comprehend simple meanings easily.   They grew frustrated when trying to communicate.  I sometimes couldn't help looking at them and  think, "Heavenly Father... why?" I had the privilege of taking the ladies to weekly Thursday night Special Needs Activities held by the  LDS church.  One week I witnessed a special treat as they practiced their favorite song together.  Two  gentlemen, one of them blind and both mentally challenged, stood to sing all the verses from memory  and the rest of all the special needs adults joined in for the chorus throughout the song.  I had tears  after the first verse.   I felt like I could take on any trial or test the Lord seemed fit for me, and felt my heart swell with desire and faith in Christ. I want to share these touching and humbling lyrics with you. The Test Tell me friend, why are you blind? Why doesn’t he who works the miracles send light into your eyes?  Tell me friend, if you understand, why doesn’t He with power to raise the dead just make you whole again?  It would be so easy for Him.  I watch you and  in sorrow and question why. And you my friend in perfect faith reply. Didn’t He say, He sent us to be tested? Didn’t He say, the way would not be sure? But didn’t he say we could live with him forever more, well and whole, if we but patiently endure. After the trial, we will be blessed, but this life is the test. Tell me friend, I see your pain. Why when you pray in faith for healing, does the crippling thorn remain? Help me see, if you understand, why doesn’t he who healed the lame man come with healing in his wings. It would be so easy for Him.  I watch you and in sorrow question why? And you my friend, in perfect faith reply. Didn’t He say, He sent us to be tested? Didn’t He say, the way would not be sure? But didn’t he say we could live with him forever more, well and whole, if we but patiently endure. After the trial, we will be blessed, but this life is the test. Tell me now, why must you die? Why must your loved ones stand with empty arms, and ask the question why? Help me know, so I can go on. How when your love and faith sustained me, can the precious gift be gone? From the depths of sorrow I cry, though pains of grief within my soul arrive. The whisperings of the Spirit still my cry. Didn’t He say, He sent us to be tested? Didn’t He say, the way would not be sure? But didn’t he say we could live with him forever more, well and whole, if we but patiently endure. After the trial, we will be blessed, but this life is the test. By: Janice Kapp Perry